Barb’s Story
It was September 11, 2008 – the day of my physical and the day after my 43rd birthday.
I had not been feeling like myself for a couple weeks and had awoken to a severe chest pain a few days earlier. A close friend who happened to be a nurse suggested maybe it was gallstones. My physician concurred and we went through the normal exam, had some blood work, and scheduled an ultrasound for the following week.
The next day, the blood work results came back with some levels that were a bit off. They asked if I could come in that afternoon for an ultrasound. I went in, still thinking it was gallstones. This was simply procedure to confirm that diagnosis.
After 45 minutes passed, I started getting concerned. Then the radiologist, who was a close personal friend, walked in totally speechless. He wanted to do a CAT scan to find out what was really going on.
What he found was Stage IV Pancreatic Cancer that had metastasized to my liver.
Ten years earlier, I had lost my first husband Kevin. We had been married 9 years and I had known him my entire adult life. We had a wonderful, full life in California, with 2 boys, Jimmy and Matt. When he died, I could not even begin to think how I would survive without him. I was a shell of myself.
Grieving is a long process. My friends and family tried to help. I read books on widowhood. I couldn’t find a “why” in any of these things. It was then that I turned my trust over to God.
I was able to feel joy again. I recognized the blessings I still had. I grew confident and empowered. The Holy Spirit was within me. I realized I would never “get over it” – but I would get through it.
One year after Kevin’s passing, God blessed me again.
I met Jason. He was visiting California for a wedding. His high school friend was marrying my high school friend. From the night I met him – and discovered we shared the same birthday! – I knew he was “the one.” We dated for a year and became engaged.
We moved to Ames, Iowa and began a new chapter together. Seven years later, I found myself enjoying wonderful, lasting friendships, involved in local groups and leading an active life in a college town. Jimmy and Matt thrived with Jason, who was an awesome dad.
Then came my diagnosis.
Our second chance, our happy family, was turned upside down. I knew I was in for another fight for my life. This time, however, I am different. All that grieving I did 10 years earlier began to resonate with me. What took 10 months to realize back then took only 10 days this time: Trust God.
I have been doing that ever since the diagnosis. I have the most amazing support circle around the country – family, friends, people I haven’t even met are praying for me. They have formed “Barb’s Army” for my healing. I feel at peace that I will overcome this cancer just as I overcame my grief. Prayer is powerful.
My 3 favorite concepts, the ones that brought me to Ames, will carry me through this next journey – faith, hope and love.
- Barb Boylan Schager
hi barb i know how your family must feel my grandpa was diagnosed with cancer and he died and my grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer she got through it just like i know you will
Barb , I am here in Mariposa helping out while the pastor is vacationing someplace. After this tour of duty I am off to Lone Pine to d0 the same. I want you to know that you are in my prayers even though you may be far away IN THAT CORN STATE. And I still remember the time you took me to lunch , and a ” business lunch ” at that , and you paid the bill with the ” company card “. BEST LUNCH I EVED HAD !!! Take care and love to all the family !!
MSGR. LOGAN
you aare doing great love you all! hang in there we are praying to god
Barb,
I am Jimmy’s business teacher at the high school. I just found out about wearing purple tomorrow for you and I’m on board! I heard last week that you were ill, and tonight when I read your story, I had no idea.
You would be very proud of Jimmy. He was in my computer class last year and I have him again this year in my accounting class. He is taking care of business at school and works very hard in class. I am frankly amazed at the strength he shows…very mature for his age.
I will be praying for you and your family…
I have had the pleasure of meeting both Barb and husband Jason. It is with deep sadness that I am writing this. Through my daughter I have heard many wonderful things about Barb. She was a support system to many, a gift to all who knew her and a rock to her family. The good lord has surely left us with many questions and though Barb surely questioned things herself….. the awareness that she imposed in others is truly an everlasting gift to all who knew her, read about her and will hear about her. WHAT AN INCREDIBLE LADY!
BARB….JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW I THINK ,PRAY AND READ YOUR BLOG DAILY……. I MISS YOU SO MUCH AND TO SEE OR HEAR THAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH THIS BREAKS MY HEART!!!! YOU ARE SOOOOOOOO STRONG AND KNOW YOU WILL OVER COME THIS…… YOU HAVE SO MUCH SUPPORT AND LOVE FROM ALL OVER!! THANK YOU FOR BEING AN INSPIRATION IN MY LIFE….. LOVE YOU AND HAVE ALWAYS ADORED YOU….. AUDREY… YOUR OLD HAIR COLORIST FROM THE O.C.
Dear Barb…its an inspiration to read your story…my husband was diagnosied with pancreatic cancer in Aug. 09 and had a whipple procedure done in Oct 2009…he has been fighting for his life everyday since…he is currently a stage IV …two doctors told him he was going to die soon and he told them that GOD has the last say to that! We have friends and family praying constantly for him and I read healing scriptures and pray for him constantly myself. We are keeping the faith no matter WHAT! We have been married for 36 years…I cannot imagine life without him…keep the faith…prayers to you…
Dear Barb,
I think of you often and you are in my daily prayers. You are such an inspiration and I just want to thank you for your courage and example during this fight. I know you will win!
Barb…just wanted you to know that I think and pray for you often knowing that God will be with you every step of the way! Jil shared with me your story and I am reminded daily how you were such a bright light the day I met you at her home. You are a beautiful gift from God and are an inspiration to so many people. Please know our heartfelt love and prayers are with you. We are sending a zillion hugs your way from Albuquerque! I also think of you always when I wear your adorable CAbi clothes! Take good care of yourself, girlfriend! I will call you soon…Tanya Alford
Dear Barb-You may remember us as we are old friends of Doreen and Bob Abrams. We have just had a wonderful visit with them in Del Mar and they told us of the tough time that you are having. Margie’s heart is especially with you as she has suffered two bouts of Pancreatitis which took a long time to recover from. We are sending a small cheque as a donation to the auction fund raising event. We are not sure if it will be there in time for the big day which is Thursday however I’m sure that you will find some way to send it to the right place.
Our love to you and your loved ones. God bless you all Murray and Marguerite Wiggins Delta, B.C. Canada
Hi Barb,
This is Lia, the 3 D’s babysitter. I just want to let you know that you have been in my thoughts as well as my family’s. My mom just finished up with chemo and radiation…she was diagnosed with breast cancer this past February. She’s doing well, but it has been quite a year. My mom lit a candle for you at Saint Dominic’s church in San Francisco. I have the bracelet too. Just wanted to say stay strong on this journey.
Take care,
Lia, Terri, Burt, and Tonio.
Barb,
I am a friend of Kris Gross’s. I live in Omaha, Ne. She passed your link on to me for a prayer request. Although I don’t know you, I couldn’t be more proud of you. What you and your family and friends are doing in your efforts to raise funding for the cancer research is wonderful, and your positive attitude will help you to win this battle. I APPLAUD YOU and your family and your FAITH. We recently lost my 77 year old mother to Lung Cancer. There is simply no bounds to dedicating ourselves to support the research to prevent it. It is what we must do. May our prayers and those of many others lift you and support you during this battle! You are an inspiration!
In faith and friendship,
Jen Breitag-Rauscher & Family
I can’t believe how well you are taking this diagnosis!!! I remember the day Kevin died aswell. You can push through and beat this cancer, I have faith in you!!!
I can’t beleive how well you are taking this diagnosis!!! I remember the day Kevin died aswell. You can push through and beat this cancer, I have faith in you!!!
Hi Barb -
Just wanted you to know that not a day goes by that I don’t think of you and your family. You are such a great summer addition to Clear Lake and all of the people here are praying for you.
You have a super family behind you! My prayers and thoughts are with you and Jason and the boys. See you in Clear Lake next summer!
Jeanne
Dear Helen….Please send me ten bracelets….My prayers are with you and your family. We love all of you soooo much. Please call me if I can even do the tiniest thing for you and your family. Take care of yourself.
With Love,
Gail
Barb,
Just found out today about you and your biggest challenge yet. Needless to say I am shocked, but somewhere in me knows that you are such a strong force to be dealt with along with your optimism and positive energy! What a support team you have too! Wow! How impressive is that! Maybe you should treat this like a Junior League event-identify the project, work like a dog to get through it and come out a smelling like a rose when it’s all over and a huge success!
Much love and I’ll be checking on you!
Paula Campbell-Taylor
Hi Barb: So glad your blood work is looking so good and can’t wait to see your new hair cut. Thinking of you everyday as I wear my CAbi gear…… xoxooxoxox
Hi Barbara, I just wanted you to know I am keeping you in my daily prayers. I haven’t seen you since Gracie and Jimmy were at Readyland together.I still have a cute picture of him cutting up apples on Johnny Apple Seed Day. Stay strong! Christina
I know that we have never had the pleasure of meeting eachother, but a friend of mine sent me information about your site. I would just like to pass on my prayers for you and your family. Our family will pray that GOD will place his arms around you and strengthen your body and spirit.
Sending you a strangers love,
Nichelle
Hi Barb,
A quick note to let you know I check on you often. You are in my thoughts and prayers daily. Keep the faith and stay fiesty.
Your friend,
Cathi Guerrero
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